2nd Sunday of Easter
John 20:19-31
As many of you know, my husband and I are in the early doting stage of grandparenting, with 2 toddlers aged 3 years old and a baby one year old. Some of you know…grandparents dote on every little thing the grandbabies are doing! Not to be confused with our dotage, which will surely arrive before we want it to!
It is fascinating to watch a baby explore something new. They can’t read a measuring device, so they don’t measure it to see how small or large it is. They have no computer skills yet, so they can’t fact check the new item on the computer. They have no language skills yet, at least that anyone can interpret, so they can’t ask clarifying questions about the new thing they are trying to understand. So, what do babies do, when encountering something new and unknown? Quite naturally, it goes straight to the mouth!
Thomas, a fully-grown man, was well beyond the infant oral method of learning about what we don’t know. But he still had that intense need to touch, in order to fully grasp what was going on. And, for humans, to touch is to love. Thomas loved Jesus and, last he knew, his beloved friend and mentor had died a gruesome death. So, to see Jesus with his own eyes, and not just hear the verbal witness of the other disciples… to touch those wounds, and feel the depth of Jesus’s sacrifice for Thomas, and all believers…this was exactly what Thomas needed, to find a new understanding of Christ’s love for him, and his love, for Christ. However, until that expressed desire for physical touch, all he could understand was the depths of his grief and loss.
I think you and I are much like Thomas, and so, the scriptures help us to identify with Christ’s sacrificial love in a deeper way, because we know deep inside how it is that this follower of Jesus, Thomas, has this need to touch. More than just an infantile exploration, Thomas was trying to find a deeper expression of his love for Jesus.
You and I, centuries after Christ’s death on the cross, need to touch his wounds, feel that sacrificial, redemptive love for ourselves, know that Christ literally went to hell and back, just for us, just for you and for me, we who are so unworthy of that sacrifice, and yet, so profoundly and unconditionally wrapped in God’s loving arms, because of Christ’s death and resurrection.
Now, let’s dive deeper into what Thomas really did, for you, and for me, and for all believers. Do we, when encountering something new, express our questions, our concerns, our possible confusion, like Thomas? Or do we feel unable to express what is on our minds and in our hearts? Sometimes, we might not be able to speak up. Call it timidity. Call it a feeling of uncertainty. Call it whatever you want, but the end result of whatever is holding us back from speaking up is that the questions don’t get asked and the confusion doesn’t get cleared up, and so, we muddle along with misperceptions and misunderstandings.
Christ’s interaction with Thomas reminds us that we can always feel we can speak up in the presence of Christ. No judgment, no worries. Christ is there for us, to love us through whatever we need to ask. There is no wrong question, nor does Christ want us to not ask questions. Faith is not built without curiosity and a need to know. Faith is built upon scripture, tradition, experience, reason, and the gift of the Holy Spirit moving in and through us, bringing us into a deeper journey with Christ and our Creator God.
In order for Christ’s words to the timid disciples in the locked room to ring true, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” (John 20:21), they needed to be able to have the freedom to ask questions. Otherwise, without answers, and a pathway of faith to walk upon, why would they feel compelled to be sent anywhere? Without the freedom, the time, the safe space and nurturing love of Jesus in which to ask anything they wanted to ask, they might still be shivering with fear in that locked room, and one of the three great religions of the world might never be known.
Before I heard the call to ministry, I attended a Tres Dias retreat, back around 1995 or so. They hold separate retreats for men and for women. You have to have a sponsor in order to attend a retreat. My sponsor, Ada Smith, was so excited to sponsor me, and assured me that I would experience a great retreat, but, she said, I can’t tell you anything. Now, that made me a little anxious! I like to know what to expect when I go away somewhere. I got even more anxious when I arrived at the retreat and discovered that there was no daily schedule, except they did tell you when meals would be served. Your sponsor brings you to the retreat, and brings you home, so you don’t even have your car, to escape and buy a coffee somewhere and think about things, if you need to.
The Thomas in me yearned to ask questions. But my sponsor had clearly said she couldn’t tell me anything. What to do? I calmed down and began to enjoy the retreat once I discovered that I could ask questions of my table leader, a wonderful, deeply faith-filled woman named Ellie. She assured me that I could ask her any question. All I really wanted to know was what was happening. And she told me about the series of talks offered each day, and the discussions at one’s table, and the fun stuff, like skit night. I also found that I could go to a kitchen server and share if I needed something (they call the kitchen servers Kitchen Angels, and they are Angels!). For instance, I forgot my toothbrush, and I mentioned it to a Kitchen Angel the first morning of the retreat, and within an hour, I was presented with a new toothbrush!
Jesus Christ is sending us, my brothers and sisters and siblings in Christ. Are we ready to go? The Holy Spirit is breathed upon us in many different ways as we are being sent out. The Holy Spirit breathes on us when we worship together, when we study scripture, when we partake in holy communion, when we sing and pray and lean upon the Lord. The Holy Spirit breathes on us when we dare to go on a spiritual retreat (and if you do dare, just let me know, and we’ll get you signed up!). And the Holy Spirit breathes on us even when we walk in Thomas’s shoes, and question everything.
The resurrected Christ is sending us, my friends. If you have questions, ask. If you don’t get answers, ask again. It’s okay to ask again! Asking questions is part of a healthy, growing, spiritual maturity, and Christ wants us to mature in the faith. God loves Thomas for his questions! He is a model for all of us, that shows us that Jesus does not reject our doubts, our questions, but rather, invites us to touch and feel and know the power of his mercy and his love.
What does it take to believe? Perhaps, it is simply a matter of asking and seeing and feeling. And pondering. Now, me, I’m a ponderer. I hear something, and I need to ponder it before acting. I see something, and again, I need to ponder it before acting. And pondering takes time. We can see in scripture that Thomas was blessed to have some time to ponder this empty tomb and this risen Christ phenomenon before he is confronted with the appearance of Christ himself, in a locked room, with the disciples. Where Christ says, Peace be with you. And then turns to Thomas, and says, Touch me. Touch my wounds. And believe.
Now, you and me, we might just stare for a moment, and then say something kinda inane, like “Unbelievable, man!” But Thomas, he’s standing there putting two and two together-he’s a very practical guy. He sees the entrance of Christ into the locked room. He knows how impossible that is. Thomas saw this man nailed to a cross, and then buried, but now, he stands before Thomas. The impossible, once again. And so, Thomas is pondering, attempting to comprehend it all. But, still, he needs to touch Christ.
Did Mary touch Christ in the garden? No. And yet, she heard his voice and believed. Did Peter and the beloved one trust Mary’s word about the empty tomb? No, they had to go see for themselves. So Thomas is not the only one who believes after a specific need is met, and each disciple had a particular need that was fulfilled before they trusted that this is indeed Christ. What did it take? It took hearing his voice. It took seeing the empty tomb. It took touching the wounds.
And after touching his wounds, Thomas could barely speak, only managing to acknowledge Christ’s holiness, crying out “My Lord and my God!” For he is overwhelmed in the presence of the risen Christ.
So, what does it take, my friends, for us to believe? We can’t touch his wounds. But there are other ways. We can listen, and yes, hear his voice speak to us. I’m sure many in this room have heard his voice, in one way or another. I once heard his voice comforting me as I walked late at night, at college in Wisconsin, alone under the stars, worried about a family member in hospital facing a critical surgery, far away from me. We can listen for His voice, as Mary did. We can trust the testimonies others share of their encounters with Christ. And we can feel the Holy Spirit move in ways that help us to come to know and believe in Christ, just like Thomas. Amen.
Pastor Elizabeth Bailey-Mitchell
