One of the movies that Pennie and I watch on DVD every Christmas is The Homecoming. Maybe you remember it. It was based on a book by the same title written by Earl Hamner, and was also the movie that led to the TV series The Waltons. In one scene in the movie, Elizabeth and Jim Bob have climbed up into the barn loft and are talking about being the youngest members of the family. Elizabeth tells her brother, “I’m not ever going to grow up. If I catch myself growing somewhere, I’ll just squeeze it back in. You help me watch – if you see me growing somewhere, you tell me. I want to stay little forever.”
There are people who seem to want to never grow up, as persons or as Christians. You see, to be grown up means going to work, taking on responsibilities and obligations. Some people just don’t want to do that. Adulting is just too demanding. There are too many expectations placed on them. And some Christians decide that they aren’t too sure that they want to grow up in Christ.
But for those of us who would like to become mature Christians, Paul talks about some of the ways we can grow up into adulthood in this passage from his letter to the church in Ephesus. The first thing Paul says is that we should live a life worthy of the calling that we have received. And one way we do that is by making some changes in our attitudes. Grownup Christians are to be humble. That can be a challenge for some of us. One of my dad’s favorite sayings was, “It’s hard to be humble when you know you’re the greatest!” (I think he got it from Mohammed Ali.) I don’t think God endowed my dad with a particularly large dose of humility! But what does it mean to be humble? To be humble means that we have an absence of pride, to be aware of our own shortcomings, to be modest and unpretentious. Humility means paying more attention to the log in our own eye and less to the speck of dust in our brother’s eye. Being humble is recognizing that someone else may have a better solution to a problem or a better idea than we do, that someone else just may know more about something than we do.
Another attitude that adult Christians should have is gentleness. That may sound like weakness to you, but to be gentle means to be kind, rather than violent or harsh or disruptive. Maybe it only seems like weakness because there is so much harshness and violence all around us, so much argumentativeness and disruption in political discourse, such a lack of kindness in the way people treat each other. Do you remember how George H. W. Bush was mocked for talking about creating a “kinder, gentler nation?” But just think what a difference it might make if people thought more about how they could be kind and generous towards one another and less about how to compete with each other!
And then Paul mentions patience. He would bring that up! We are to bear with one another in love. Patience is something I struggle with. I find myself praying, “Lord, give me patience, but hurry!” To be patient is to bear or endure pain or trouble without complaining or losing your self-control; it is to refuse to be provoked or get angry; it is to calmly tolerate delay, confusion, or inefficiency; to wait for something; or to persevere.
I was trying to make a left turn onto Route 11 one day and there was a steady stream of cars coming down the hill. I couldn’t believe it when a guy in a large SUV behind me honked his horn and waved his arms in the air at me. Where did he think I was going to go? And where was he trying to go that he was in such a hurry? I wish that I had remembered the story of the man whose car stalled out just as the traffic light turned green. He couldn’t get his car to start, and the cars behind him starting honking, which just made matters worse. He finally got out of his car, walked back to the first car in line, and said to the driver, “I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to get my car started. If you’ll go up there and give it a try, I’ll stay here and blow your horn for you.” We need to have patience with each other, because none of us is perfect and we all have faults that others have to have patience with.
The second thing that Paul says is necessary for living a life worthy of our calling is to live in unity with each other. We do that through the Holy Spirit and through the bond of peace. Christianity is all about unity: there is one body (the body of Christ, the church), one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all. We – all Christians – are one. At least that is what we aspire to. As United Methodists, we have just gone through a season of disaffiliations that has seen a quarter of our American churches choose to leave the denomination for theological reasons. And yet, after more than 40 years of theological division, perhaps some unity within our denomination can be restored and we can move forward more focused on mission and evangelism.
But don’t mistake unity for uniformity. Within the church, there are different roles which grownup Christians are called to play. To each person Christ gives grace so that he or she might fulfill one of those roles: apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, teacher. And whatever role Christ calls us to, we are prepared for service in order to build up the church so that we might reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of Christ and become mature. The list that Paul gives here is only a small representation of the kinds of roles that people might have in a church; there are gifts of leading, giving, comforting, encouraging, singing, playing a musical instrument, organizing, working with children, cooking, spiritual insight. Every person has some gift which can be used for the church. And when we all work together, using our own gifts to build up the church, we are building that unity that Paul describes. Nothing unites people faster than a common goal or cause.
The last thing that Paul says we need in order to be grown-up Christians is love. The whole body will grow and build itself up in love as each part does its work. Jesus says, “This is my command: Love each other as I have loved you.” Love is not an option; it is a command. We must love each other because we are one body, one family. We love each other as Christ loves us, with a giving love, a sacrificing love, a love that loves no matter what. Do you really love each other? If not, where do you draw the line? Do you love only those in your denomination? In your church? In your pew? Do you love only those who agree with you? Or do you love because you must love, because you feel the love of Christ in you reaching out to all those around you?
The love that we share for one another in the church must also be extended to those outside the church. When I was a senior in high school, I volunteered at our local children’s shelter. Children who had been removed from their parents’ homes were placed there while the court could make a decision on a permanent placement for them. These children had all been abused by their parents or other guardians. I’ll never forget seeing a baby in a crib who had scars all over her body from where she had been burned with cigarettes. The baby cried almost all the time she was awake, and when anyone went to pick her up, she cried even harder, at least for a moment. She expected to be hurt again. But when you just held her, gently and securely, she would gradually relax and begin to quiet down. I have often thought of that baby. The world is full of hurting, wounded, frightened people who need to know that every human touch is not going to hurt them again, but that there is love for them here with us.
I don’t know about you, but I’m all about adulting as a Christian. I don’t want to be tossed back and forth by the waves or blown here and there by every wind of teaching or by the cunning and craftiness of deceitful men and women who plan and scheme. Instead I place my faith in Christ and I aim to live a life worthy of his calling by growing up into him who is the Head through the grace of God.
